Just too many things lately; big or small. A couple of days ago, I told one of buddies, Brooks, a lot of things in my mind. Just for about 30 minutes, I felt like I had already told him my entire stage of mind of my life.
Since this semester, I came to build up my passion on playing volleyball again. During this period of time, I went through many process: getting hurt, being humble to learn, taking it seriously on every game, being invited to play, and being left out. I don't wanna go through the details, because it is already enough for me to learn a lesson: it doesn't matter how much effort you make, in reality, if you are not good enough, you will be kicked out.
If I can find an exit, I will absolutely run away through that door. I always want to run away, especially I don't want be in the place I am living now. If I say it out loud, probably someone will just ask me to change the way I think. Excuse me! Can you listen to me first before asking me to do more? Tell you what, people do change a lot, even just within a few weeks, more than you can comprehend. I need to find that exit in my mind.
I decided to move forward. I wrote a letter, but for which I haven't sent out. I don't have any expectation; I just hope that no matter what I am going to do, she will not feel being trouble. I still need to put some more thoughts in that letter before sending it out. I don't want if there is any misunderstanding. It has been too long, my mind began to get exhausted. The last few times I saw her, she was too distracted, that bothered me. If I can use a word to describe myself, I will use "nothing"; I am nothing.
Since this semester, I came to build up my passion on playing volleyball again. During this period of time, I went through many process: getting hurt, being humble to learn, taking it seriously on every game, being invited to play, and being left out. I don't wanna go through the details, because it is already enough for me to learn a lesson: it doesn't matter how much effort you make, in reality, if you are not good enough, you will be kicked out.
If I can find an exit, I will absolutely run away through that door. I always want to run away, especially I don't want be in the place I am living now. If I say it out loud, probably someone will just ask me to change the way I think. Excuse me! Can you listen to me first before asking me to do more? Tell you what, people do change a lot, even just within a few weeks, more than you can comprehend. I need to find that exit in my mind.
I decided to move forward. I wrote a letter, but for which I haven't sent out. I don't have any expectation; I just hope that no matter what I am going to do, she will not feel being trouble. I still need to put some more thoughts in that letter before sending it out. I don't want if there is any misunderstanding. It has been too long, my mind began to get exhausted. The last few times I saw her, she was too distracted, that bothered me. If I can use a word to describe myself, I will use "nothing"; I am nothing.
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