The world is really not doing so well.
I used to distance myself from any political matter, rarely talked about politic. However, since the debate on the extradition law in Hong Kong last year along with all the dark sides and conspiracies, I was not able to stay passive. Instead, I became a more outspoken about my points of view on all the issues. And i strongly believe that, for those who support or even act on those corrupted policies, they will pay a huge price. I will keep being patient and wait for that day.
I used to distance myself from any political matter, rarely talked about politic. However, since the debate on the extradition law in Hong Kong last year along with all the dark sides and conspiracies, I was not able to stay passive. Instead, I became a more outspoken about my points of view on all the issues. And i strongly believe that, for those who support or even act on those corrupted policies, they will pay a huge price. I will keep being patient and wait for that day.
I have a great respect towards all the youngsters who are so brave and willing to step up to fight for what they deserve for their future. When I was the same age of them, I prob did not even know the sense of "future". I did what I had to do anyway.
After not working for full-time over a year, I started back on track with a full-time job a couple of weeks ago. The salary is not that appealing, but the opportunity for me is there, I just have to pick up on a lot of new stuff. Interestingly, I do not feel the pressure that I used to have when I started working in a new environment. Dose it mean I finally become a real "grown-up"? Haha...Again, I just need to be confident.
Last year was not the best year anyway, I guess I was just lacking of luck when it came to encounter with people relationship. When I strove to be honest and transparent and kind, I got betrayal in return. All these circumstances kinda discouraged me from believing in myself. Everyday I battled with myself. The stronger I was, the weaker I became. The weaker I was, the stronger I became. I have no idea what I am talking about actually. well, who cares, I'm just doing whatever needs to be done.
With all the experiences I had in the last two years, I came to realize that I have a lot of angers, gladly the positive side of me did not allow me to act upon it, which I found myself was quite rational in a way. I still love being nice to others. Don't get me wrong, my anger is not about hating others, it is more on the things that happened.
In case I might even forget, I revealed one thing that I did not know for my whole life until last year. It was quite emotional, a bit depressing. I found out that I was once almost being in place where I probably would not have known the people I have had in my life, literally. Probably just one small critical steps away. It did really break me.
What am I really living for...?
Sigh....life is very interesting but very ironic as well. Still, my mission and my study in the U.S. are the things that keep me going, because I learned so much and was loved. And I got to discover the raw and authentic side of myself. I am very appreciated for any of those who came across in my life during those periods of time. Probably I am only able to put up a real and true smile when I look at those pictures and remember those moments of being there with the people. Thank you! Thank you for being in my life!
