Just had a very spiritual experience that I had never ever expected it to be happened at least until the next 20 years!
The past couple of week is not easy to live; I had been trying so hard to put away my personal feeling; instead, I put serving others way over myself. It did take me a lot of energy and strength to carry on, however, it turned out that I received one of the greatest trusts from our Father in Heaven!
Thank you so much, Elder Robert Field!
Life has too many wonderful moments that need to be recorded! When you are able to remember something, it is a blessing! I always have a dream about writing a book or making a movie for the story is based on my life and my experience. Hopefully, it will begin from these words...
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
To do His work
What a beautiful morning! Summer in Utah is not as hot as in Hong Kong; it is still a little bit cold to me before the sun comes up. Perhaps I didn't sleep that much last night, it made me feel even colder. But I enjoyed of it especially I was on my way to the Temple with Robert.
Last night we talked about my confusion on my future; he did remind me of being happy for whatever I am going to do! I need that advice, always! I had been thinking a lot about this until I arrived at the Temple. I chose to rely on the Lord to help me with this.
I know my purpose of this trip with exactness. When you are prompted by the Holy Spirit, there is no way you can deny! The letters A-L-M-A, and the numbers 7, 23, 24 popped in my head in my prayer. These aren't the scriptures I am familiar with; my mind tried to think of Alma 7: 11 - 13. It didn't work; I didn't feel right. "Alma 7:23-24" appeared again in my mind; I felt very good about that. What a powerful and amazing instruction to me this morning!
"And see that ye have faith, hope, and charity, and then ye will always abound in good works." (Alma 7:24)
Good works are His works. To do His work is something I know should focus on all the time.
Last night we talked about my confusion on my future; he did remind me of being happy for whatever I am going to do! I need that advice, always! I had been thinking a lot about this until I arrived at the Temple. I chose to rely on the Lord to help me with this.
I know my purpose of this trip with exactness. When you are prompted by the Holy Spirit, there is no way you can deny! The letters A-L-M-A, and the numbers 7, 23, 24 popped in my head in my prayer. These aren't the scriptures I am familiar with; my mind tried to think of Alma 7: 11 - 13. It didn't work; I didn't feel right. "Alma 7:23-24" appeared again in my mind; I felt very good about that. What a powerful and amazing instruction to me this morning!
"And see that ye have faith, hope, and charity, and then ye will always abound in good works." (Alma 7:24)
Good works are His works. To do His work is something I know should focus on all the time.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
What is mine?
I want to have something that is really belonging to mine.
During the last few years, I spent my money on buying something I had never had before: a digital camera, a laptop...etc. I treasure that I could afford to buy. I don't have parent to give me money to buy things; I work very hard and smart though. Can I buy a family? a girlfriend? a younger brother? a friend? a wife? I know the answer, of course.
Those are given; those are involved choices; those can't be controlled; those can't be asked for.
I had stayed with many families; seeing how others live in their daily life is one of my favourite things to do, as I learn a lot and they don't even realize. Being in their life leads me to think about the life I want to have. They all have their own moment interacting with their family members, talking with their neighbours and turning off the television. Countless anyway!
I want to have my moments other than using my camera to capture the moments of others. I want to have my moments. I need to settle but there is no place for me to go. Because I still haven't let myself go.
During the last few years, I spent my money on buying something I had never had before: a digital camera, a laptop...etc. I treasure that I could afford to buy. I don't have parent to give me money to buy things; I work very hard and smart though. Can I buy a family? a girlfriend? a younger brother? a friend? a wife? I know the answer, of course.
Those are given; those are involved choices; those can't be controlled; those can't be asked for.
I had stayed with many families; seeing how others live in their daily life is one of my favourite things to do, as I learn a lot and they don't even realize. Being in their life leads me to think about the life I want to have. They all have their own moment interacting with their family members, talking with their neighbours and turning off the television. Countless anyway!
I want to have my moments other than using my camera to capture the moments of others. I want to have my moments. I need to settle but there is no place for me to go. Because I still haven't let myself go.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
The new me
This morning after I woke up from my extreme tiredness as I went swimming yesterday, I checked my facebook. There is another friend on facebook asked me again when I will go back to Hong Kong.
My typically answer, "Probably in another year or two." I don't know. I guess it doesn't depend on how soon I will graduate, instead, where I do want to go. On the other hand, last night I had to deal with a thing which I feel like I don't know how to comprehend anymore. I left a big city, Hong Kong, for too long. Not only physically, but also mentally. I used to deal with a lot of complicated things very often. Now, I just don't like it, I just don't know how to deal with. It seems like my friends back home will never be able to understand. The more I explorer myself these days, the longer distance I find among us.
I have always been observing myself; it is really hard to play hide and seat with myself. Hanging out with Robert leads me to see things differently. I come to see the things from their origins. The pure relationship and simple connection among each of us. I even come to understand more about my nature.
"Mommm! I'm very hungry!" Robert said to his mother, when he was waiting his mother to finish fixing dinner. Probably I will never forget that look he showed and that voice he sounded in the rest of my life. In college, Robert always took care of his older brother, Brady, and his roommates by fixing them lunch and dinners. It's not only about the role we play from time to time, but the nature that we suppose to have, or who we are supposed to be. Playing a role is far different from living in our own nature.
I feel that the searching of myself game is one step closer to the end. I don't know how many steps are still ahead. This step is a big change to me.
My typically answer, "Probably in another year or two." I don't know. I guess it doesn't depend on how soon I will graduate, instead, where I do want to go. On the other hand, last night I had to deal with a thing which I feel like I don't know how to comprehend anymore. I left a big city, Hong Kong, for too long. Not only physically, but also mentally. I used to deal with a lot of complicated things very often. Now, I just don't like it, I just don't know how to deal with. It seems like my friends back home will never be able to understand. The more I explorer myself these days, the longer distance I find among us.
I have always been observing myself; it is really hard to play hide and seat with myself. Hanging out with Robert leads me to see things differently. I come to see the things from their origins. The pure relationship and simple connection among each of us. I even come to understand more about my nature.
"Mommm! I'm very hungry!" Robert said to his mother, when he was waiting his mother to finish fixing dinner. Probably I will never forget that look he showed and that voice he sounded in the rest of my life. In college, Robert always took care of his older brother, Brady, and his roommates by fixing them lunch and dinners. It's not only about the role we play from time to time, but the nature that we suppose to have, or who we are supposed to be. Playing a role is far different from living in our own nature.
I feel that the searching of myself game is one step closer to the end. I don't know how many steps are still ahead. This step is a big change to me.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
I wish I have a younger brother
This is my second day staying in the Field's house. I am here because Brady and Robert are my friends. I know them while in school during the Spring semester. They were my neighbour. I did spend time with them more than with my roommates. Why? Just because I don't like drama.
Brady and I talked quite a lot about stuff as we were dealing with some similar things about girl. We opened to each other; as a matter of fact, for those around him, I feel like I am one of those who is willing to understand his situation; I supported him whatever he felt right even though the whole world might be against him. I wish I have a younger brother who is willing to share his thoughts with me. He is very talkative though. He is that kind of person that even I don't exactly understand what he says, whenever he talks, I will just laugh. Maybe it is called a character. I think he is more than that. I found one thing that we are alike, we think a lot.
Robert, he knows the things about my past more than anyone in school. We were home teaching companions; we did well! Very well! At least I have never done that well before! He got his mission call in the beginning of the semester; he is going to serve in the Taiwan Taipei Mission. Probably these became the connection between us. Getting to know him is a challenging task. He doesn't talk too much; he talks when he feels comfortable. Humble and athletic are those words related to him. He reminds me of a person; a person who is related to me in a family prospective but I doubt if whom I will have a chance to see again. Well, just named him Max here then in case I need to mention him again.
For sure I am not humble and I am not that athletic, but I still see myself from the way how Robert acts with others. And of course, I can imagine when the time I will see Max again, it will be just like how I communicate with Robert. I even come to understand more why God blesses me with a gift that I can know how to treasure the people I meet in my life. I trust Robert like a younger brother to me. I enjoy of doing things with him. It seems like God wants me to learn more about myself thought this friend - a younger brother.
Brady and I talked quite a lot about stuff as we were dealing with some similar things about girl. We opened to each other; as a matter of fact, for those around him, I feel like I am one of those who is willing to understand his situation; I supported him whatever he felt right even though the whole world might be against him. I wish I have a younger brother who is willing to share his thoughts with me. He is very talkative though. He is that kind of person that even I don't exactly understand what he says, whenever he talks, I will just laugh. Maybe it is called a character. I think he is more than that. I found one thing that we are alike, we think a lot.
Robert, he knows the things about my past more than anyone in school. We were home teaching companions; we did well! Very well! At least I have never done that well before! He got his mission call in the beginning of the semester; he is going to serve in the Taiwan Taipei Mission. Probably these became the connection between us. Getting to know him is a challenging task. He doesn't talk too much; he talks when he feels comfortable. Humble and athletic are those words related to him. He reminds me of a person; a person who is related to me in a family prospective but I doubt if whom I will have a chance to see again. Well, just named him Max here then in case I need to mention him again.
For sure I am not humble and I am not that athletic, but I still see myself from the way how Robert acts with others. And of course, I can imagine when the time I will see Max again, it will be just like how I communicate with Robert. I even come to understand more why God blesses me with a gift that I can know how to treasure the people I meet in my life. I trust Robert like a younger brother to me. I enjoy of doing things with him. It seems like God wants me to learn more about myself thought this friend - a younger brother.
Lost of word
Sometimes I think, "do I really know how to write?" Because of the major I study, there is so easy for me to get frustrated from my writing skill as I feel like I will never qualify to be a good PR writer. Of course, do I really care about being a good PR writer? I can honestly said that it is not my passion, but I will do it if I need to! What I care about the most is to express myself on my own way; to express is a process, I enjoy of being in this process! Then I think I know how to write! As writing is a process!
Perhaps I don't how to well express my feeling! It has been bugging me for a while! Gladly since the summer break, I have been very busy on hanging out with friends! I did make a lot of great friends in the Spring semester. It is very sad because some of them probably I will not see them again until next spring and in two years! So then it allows me to not entirely think of her all the time!
It is hard! I began to jealous of my friend because of her! When I plan my next steps, I think of her! Every of my friend knows how much she means to me; I did once tell her though. Being simple on everything is something what I have been trying to do. I don't know why but I feel that things are getting a little more complicated than I expected.
I still want to know what God wants me to be? It doesn't mean I will ask Him. Mostly I ask Him if the things I choose to do is His will. That's why I decided to tell her how I feel about her. I didn't have any expectation about any of her response. I felt that I needed to tell her. Just because I really meant it. Since then, I don't know any words to talk to her. She is observing herself; she has been seeing the world again; she has been feeling the world again with her new emotions. I don't want to interrupt her. She really deserves the true one.
Of course I want to be that one; I do have a plan for the future steps if she is willing to try to walk with me. Helping people, bringing forward good message and inspiring others in different places on this earth is my future, I want her to be a part of it. But for the time being, these are not the words I can, or I should say; I come to lose my word again.
Perhaps I don't how to well express my feeling! It has been bugging me for a while! Gladly since the summer break, I have been very busy on hanging out with friends! I did make a lot of great friends in the Spring semester. It is very sad because some of them probably I will not see them again until next spring and in two years! So then it allows me to not entirely think of her all the time!
It is hard! I began to jealous of my friend because of her! When I plan my next steps, I think of her! Every of my friend knows how much she means to me; I did once tell her though. Being simple on everything is something what I have been trying to do. I don't know why but I feel that things are getting a little more complicated than I expected.
I still want to know what God wants me to be? It doesn't mean I will ask Him. Mostly I ask Him if the things I choose to do is His will. That's why I decided to tell her how I feel about her. I didn't have any expectation about any of her response. I felt that I needed to tell her. Just because I really meant it. Since then, I don't know any words to talk to her. She is observing herself; she has been seeing the world again; she has been feeling the world again with her new emotions. I don't want to interrupt her. She really deserves the true one.
Of course I want to be that one; I do have a plan for the future steps if she is willing to try to walk with me. Helping people, bringing forward good message and inspiring others in different places on this earth is my future, I want her to be a part of it. But for the time being, these are not the words I can, or I should say; I come to lose my word again.
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