Please take it away!

I know I have been punishing the people around me; someday, and I know someday I will just drive them away.

Father, can you take it away from me?

Reject...reject...reject!

Being rejected for once, perhaps it is a really bad idea!
Being rejected for twice, perhaps you still have not thought through enough!
Being rejected for the third time, well, give yourself a choice, you could probably can do better!
Being rejected for the forth time, sorry, probably you are worthless! And probably no one wants to listen to you!

Be smart or be a fool, your choice!

Sometimes I feel bad because sometimes I realize I love my friends more than the way I love my family, I really do feel bad. But, who can understand?  Friends are always very important to me throughout my life.  I treasure every single one of them who shows up on my path.

I know I am not their best one, cultural background can possibly be one of the stumble blocks; I do not know if it is a good excuse for me to feel better about myself or not.
It is really difficult when I have been suffering from depression. I cannot really take it easy for those jokes about me and the way how I am left out sometimes! Not because I don't want to, but I just cannot. I wish I can have better power to control myself, which really enhances my emotional problem.

I feel like I am a fool.

or am I asking too much?

Good guy or bad guy?

If I do something wrong, I am willing take the responsibility and make it up.
If I don't do something wrong, I will try not to blame on the person.

Friends are supposed to help other each to feel good about themselves; I want to feel good about myself!

I hope I know

Just wonder, what is/are my problem(s)?

- Being older than usual here?
- Being different race?
- Having an accent?
- Having a chill personality?
- Not good looking enough or too ugly?
- Not following the crowd?
- Not good enough on playing sport(s)?
- Having my own views on everything?
- Admiring the talent and creativity of Lady Gaga?
- Not sending texts to others all the time?
- Not using facebook all the time?
- Not wanting to get married at this moment?

What are you looking at? What are you talking about?

If I am asked if I am ready to leave here, probably I have asked myself this questions tons of times already, I guess I will say I am more than being ready to leave.

In the last few months, I came to learn about being independent at the other level.  I know how to take it easy even when the time I feel like I am being left out or anything. Perhaps I don't know those people too well.

Now, at this moment at this place, I am doing the same. Nothing really changes except those faces around are not the same!

Having a new responsibility in church, I know that I am being guided by the spirit.  I gained more power to fight against my depression especially when the time that I was doing His works.

Also, there are always a gap and a distance between my friends here and me.  Different races, different ages, there is no way to fix it.  There is always a difference in between.  At least now on the earth, we are not brave enough to reject the culture we are living in.  Our eye contact cannot lie to anyone.

I never doubt if Heavenly Father loves me or not, because I know He loves me.  I have never had any eye contact with Him,  but at least I always try to look for His.

People in our society do not know how to talk anymore.  Text message is one of the horrible invention.
Holding a cell phone all day long sending text is one of the worst way to communicate when we try to know each other through.
Why don't we just stop it? Why don't we just pick up the phone and call?