Firework

The firework was good......I guess! Half way, I wanted to leave!
But the firework would never be great without her sitting beside me, or at least around me.

Lifesaver

When people are happy, they don't need it.
When people are safe, they don't need it.

It is used when they need help.
It is used when no one around thme.
It is used, but only for short moment.

When people are safe again, probably they don't need it anymore.
When people are happy again, probably they don't even remember it anymore.

Perhaps, I am just like that lifesaver.

Time to prepare the time to say goodbye...Good Bye!

"There is no never-ending feast."

Brick cannot fight for the resistance of erosion;
window cannot stop the sunset from the sky.

We eat together, we play together, we laugh together.
Journal is too small to carry all these moments,
I am too old to remember all these details.

Will the moon come out tonight?
Will the sun come out tomorrow?

If time can be borrowed, I will never return.
Mask can cover my face, but I am afraid my tear will melt it down.

Too many times I have said; every time can be the last time, the last time I see you.

I wish I will never have to say goodbye, as I am afraid you will have nothing to say in another decade.

---To the friends I love---

Please take it away!

I know I have been punishing the people around me; someday, and I know someday I will just drive them away.

Father, can you take it away from me?

Reject...reject...reject!

Being rejected for once, perhaps it is a really bad idea!
Being rejected for twice, perhaps you still have not thought through enough!
Being rejected for the third time, well, give yourself a choice, you could probably can do better!
Being rejected for the forth time, sorry, probably you are worthless! And probably no one wants to listen to you!

Be smart or be a fool, your choice!

Sometimes I feel bad because sometimes I realize I love my friends more than the way I love my family, I really do feel bad. But, who can understand?  Friends are always very important to me throughout my life.  I treasure every single one of them who shows up on my path.

I know I am not their best one, cultural background can possibly be one of the stumble blocks; I do not know if it is a good excuse for me to feel better about myself or not.
It is really difficult when I have been suffering from depression. I cannot really take it easy for those jokes about me and the way how I am left out sometimes! Not because I don't want to, but I just cannot. I wish I can have better power to control myself, which really enhances my emotional problem.

I feel like I am a fool.

or am I asking too much?

Good guy or bad guy?

If I do something wrong, I am willing take the responsibility and make it up.
If I don't do something wrong, I will try not to blame on the person.

Friends are supposed to help other each to feel good about themselves; I want to feel good about myself!

I hope I know

Just wonder, what is/are my problem(s)?

- Being older than usual here?
- Being different race?
- Having an accent?
- Having a chill personality?
- Not good looking enough or too ugly?
- Not following the crowd?
- Not good enough on playing sport(s)?
- Having my own views on everything?
- Admiring the talent and creativity of Lady Gaga?
- Not sending texts to others all the time?
- Not using facebook all the time?
- Not wanting to get married at this moment?

What are you looking at? What are you talking about?

If I am asked if I am ready to leave here, probably I have asked myself this questions tons of times already, I guess I will say I am more than being ready to leave.

In the last few months, I came to learn about being independent at the other level.  I know how to take it easy even when the time I feel like I am being left out or anything. Perhaps I don't know those people too well.

Now, at this moment at this place, I am doing the same. Nothing really changes except those faces around are not the same!

Having a new responsibility in church, I know that I am being guided by the spirit.  I gained more power to fight against my depression especially when the time that I was doing His works.

Also, there are always a gap and a distance between my friends here and me.  Different races, different ages, there is no way to fix it.  There is always a difference in between.  At least now on the earth, we are not brave enough to reject the culture we are living in.  Our eye contact cannot lie to anyone.

I never doubt if Heavenly Father loves me or not, because I know He loves me.  I have never had any eye contact with Him,  but at least I always try to look for His.

People in our society do not know how to talk anymore.  Text message is one of the horrible invention.
Holding a cell phone all day long sending text is one of the worst way to communicate when we try to know each other through.
Why don't we just stop it? Why don't we just pick up the phone and call?

Can it be fair a little bit?

What should be the right relationship between Satan and us?
It was a conversation between my roommate and I.  We did not have the same stand point; we did not have to be the same anyway.

My stand point is, I don't hate him, even though I know that he brings so many bad influences to us. I chose not to have any hatred feeling on him.  I chose to stay away from him. I just don't like hating anything one or anything.

He does not leave me alone though. But, I still don't hate him. I just hope that my friends will not be affected by him.

I have been trying really hard to set up activities and hope everyone can a have good time or something.
However, I hope that people can have some mercy on me if I am not able to make everything perfect.
I think I am kinda burned out already!

I am not asking for "thank you", nor wanting some credits, nor I expect people will remember what I did or what I do.  May I ask, "Can anyone do something or/and say something which is fair to ourselves and to others?"

Did you think to pray?

After saying 'goodnight' to my two roommates, Matt and Simon, I went back to my room.
Nothing was better the moment when I came back to my room, window was opened, the wind was lightly blowing, I could smell the peace.
I approached myself to pray to God; I had a good started.
Then I said too much.  That kind of 'too much' was, I forgot I was praying; I was saying.
Gladly, my willingness to improve my prayer all the time reminded me that I would stop, or pause.  Then to create a moment that I could remember and see the things I had done today from a loving perspective, which allowed me to see how much I did love the people around me today.  My desire to repent was maximized. They I saw the people as same as the children of God.  I became to love them more.
Prayer allowed me to love, allowed me to see the children of God.

Spring semester

I love spring semesters.
Spring is full of energy! I am going to transfer and convert this energy into the motivation on creating my projects of this year!
Yeah, go and do something! Keep yourself going!
Good work requires time and effort, which is now!