Lost of word

Sometimes I think, "do I really know how to write?" Because of the major I study, there is so easy for me to get frustrated from my writing skill as I feel like I will never qualify to be a good PR writer. Of course, do I really care about being a good PR writer? I can honestly said that it is not my passion, but I will do it if I need to! What I care about the most is to express myself on my own way; to express is a process, I enjoy of being in this process! Then I think I know how to write! As writing is a process!

Perhaps I don't how to well express my feeling! It has been bugging me for a while! Gladly since the summer break, I have been very busy on hanging out with friends! I did make a lot of great friends in the Spring semester. It is very sad because some of them probably I will not see them again until next spring and in two years! So then it allows me to not entirely think of her all the time!

It is hard! I began to jealous of my friend because of her! When I plan my next steps, I think of her! Every of my friend knows how much she means to me; I did once tell her though.  Being simple on everything is something what I have been trying to do. I don't know why but I feel that things are getting a little more complicated than I expected.

I still want to know what God wants me to be? It doesn't mean I will ask Him. Mostly I ask Him if the things I choose to do is His will.  That's why I decided to tell her how I feel about her. I didn't have any expectation about any of her response. I felt that I needed to tell her. Just because I really meant it. Since then, I don't know any words to talk to her. She is observing herself; she has been seeing the world again; she has been feeling the world again with her new emotions. I don't want to interrupt her. She really deserves the true one.

Of course I want to be that one; I do have a plan for the future steps if she is willing to try to walk with me.  Helping people, bringing  forward good message and inspiring others in different places on this earth is my future, I want her to be a part of it. But for the time being, these are not the words I can, or I should say; I come to lose my word again.